You can't beat a good Early Day motion to get the blood boiling in the morning, and thanks to Lindsay Hoyle I've got one.
That this House notes with concern the number of fires caused by tea lights; recognises that these small lights can easily cause fires due to the flame being exposed; and calls on the Government to work with manufacturers to ensure that the lights are designed with sturdy mounts and fireproof casing in addition to warnings labels on the dangers of naked flames.Reality check! Have you seen a tealight? Have you measured them? Where exactly do you intend to put a warning label? The only space is on the bottom for pitys sake where, guess what, no one would be able to see it. And anyway, anyone who needs a warning to remind them that fire is flammable deserves everything they get.
As the delightful Trixy said when I mentioned this to her, "'calls on the Government to work with manufacturers'? What are they going to do? Send a crack team of MPs on a junket and suddenly discover the manufacturers just happen to be in the Seychelles?".
What I wondered was whether some of them might go on round a tealight factory and say "hmmmm wax.... I like wax". They'll be calling for a ban on fire next.